1. Jack Kevorkian Is Cool
2. Valujet
3. You've Got No Friends
4. You Keep A Diary
5. You Own A Store
6. You Got Date Raped
7. Recycling Is Gay
8. You're A Cop
9. You Can't Shut Up
10. You've Got Cancer
11. We Just Disagree
12. Hungry Hungry Hippos
13. You Are An Interior Decorator
14. Pottery's Gay
15. Rich Goyette Is Gay
16. Branscombe Richmond
17. You Live In Allston
18. You Are A Good Food Critic
19. Just The Two Of Us
20. Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin
21. You're Gay
22. You Look Adopted
23. Your Cousin Is George Lynch
24. You Have Goals
25. You Drive An Iroc
26. You Play On A Softball Team
27. Because You're Old
28. You Sell Cologne
29. Being A Cobbler Is Dumb
30. You Live In A Houseboat
31. Richard Butler
32. 311 Sucks
33. Your Kid Is Deformed
34. You Are An Orphan
35. You're Old (Fuck You)
36. You Go To Art School
37. You're Best Friend Is You
38. You're In A Coma
39. Windchimes Are Gay
40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your 41. Stupid Fucking Band
42. Reni Auberjonois
43. Internet Is Gay
44. Ha, Ha Your Wife Left You
45. Hootie And The Blowfish
46. You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)
47. Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds
48. Technology's Gay
49. Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp
50. I'm In Anal Cunt
51. You (Fill In The Blank)
52. Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache
53. Bonus Track #3